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Synthetic Geochronology & Structural Impossibility of Saurian Models

Susan Zhang

presenter Susan Zhang
moderator Nova Holbrook
[03:10] Grant Reed: Who's here for the extra credit?
[03:10] Marty McFly: Anyone here?
[03:10] Thaddeus Orbit: Hey Grant. Yeah, I'm in Professor Zhang's Mineralogy and Crystallography class.
[03:11] Sinaid O'Connor: I'm taking Geology 101.
[03:11] ron majors: same
[03:11] Grant Reed: Oh, I was planning to take that, Thaddeus. You like it?
[03:11] Thaddeus Orbit: Yeah, it's fantastic!
[03:11] Grant Reed: Nice.
[03:12] Sterling Price: Taking Paleoclimatology (GEOL 605) right now, but I've had other classes with Professor Zhang...working on my Antipaleontology masters.
[03:12] Sinaid O'Connor: very cool!
[03:12] Grant Reed: Nice. I’m doing GEO 602 as an elective.
[03:13] Kelsin Landers: I haven't heard the pleasure of taking one of Professor Zhang's classes, but worked with her during my dissertation.
[03:13] Sinaid O'Connor: awesome, Kelsin!
[03:13] Kelsin Landers: *haven't had
[03:13] Joni Quest: Hey guys! I’m from her Biomechanics class.
[03:13] Joni Quest: She told us she'd waive our lowest-scoring lab if we attended.
[03:13] Grant Reed: Smart move. Those labs are enjoyable, but can be nightmares.
[03:13] Grant Reed: Trying to calculate the bone density for a brachiosaurus makes my head spin.
[03:14] Joni Quest: Right??
[03:14] Joni Quest: Like, the math says it should just be a puddle of jelly.
[03:14] Liam O'Brien: CAN WE START YET??
[03:14] Grant Reed: Chill Liam.
[03:14] Toby Vance: 🤣🤣🤣
[03:15] dino sore: I'm just here because I heard there was going to be an explanation for the Loch Ness monster.
[03:15] Sinaid O'Connor: hahaha
[03:16] Liam O'Brien: Susan is bringing the absolute heat today!
[03:16] Adam McDermott: Yeah Prof Zhang is the REAL deal.
[03:16] Joni Quest: I love that professor Zhang isn't wasting time getting into the science. THIS is what I came to CADCON for!
[03:16] Adam McDermott: She's like that in the classroom, too!
[03:17] Grant Reed: She mentioned the hydroxyapatite lattice? Barely relevant to the larger picture...
[03:17] Grant Reed: the real failure is collagenous decay under high-presure brine systems.
[03:17] ron majors: G-constant "flux" is just the tip of the iceberg
[03:18] ron majors: Buoyancy is the real culprit---atmospheric lift in a pre-Canopy era.
[03:18] Sinaid O'Connor: isomorphic silicates make total sense.
[03:18] Grant Reed: i once saw synthetic gaskets "fossilize" in a single afternoon.
[03:18] Sinaid O'Connor: it's just crystalline ghosting, like when a CRT monitor burns out.
[03:18] Toby Vance: A "Car-bon" copy? šŸš—
[03:18] Willa Sterling: wow!
[03:18] Linus P: Isentropic stratigraphy??
[03:18] Linus P: Its a Type II statistical error on a global scale.
[03:19] Sterling Price: It's isostatic pressure playing tricks on the visual cortex, Liam. šŸ˜€
[03:19] Linus P: Like an insurance auditor finding "structural failure" where there was just bad code.
[03:19] j j: what's a stochastic variable?
[03:19] j j: some math thing?
[03:19] Sinaid O'Connor: the earth just has screen burn from a massive electromagnetic event.
[03:19] Liam O'Brien: it means the dates are random
[03:19] Thaddeus Orbit: If the Earth's rotation were even 3% faster, the centrifugal force would mitigate the load.
[03:20] Liam O'Brien: Susan is literally proving the scientists are just guessing!!
[03:20] Candace Kang: @j j Think of a stochastic variable as a dice roll.
[03:20] Kelsin Landers: This is the most grounded take on biomechanics I've seen in years. Very rigorous.
[03:20] ron majors: It's the Observer Effect from Quantum Physics.
[03:20] Grant Reed: @Thaddeus she mentioned Young's Modulus
[03:20] Candace Kang: Mainstream science says the dice are fair and always land on "millions of years."
[03:20] Thaddeus Orbit: It wasn't just corrosion, Grant.
[03:20] Sinaid O'Connor: is that why my apartment building vibrates when a truck goes by??
[03:20] ron majors: In the subatomic world, the act of looking at something actually changes how it behaves.
[03:20] Candace Kang: Susan is saying the dice are affected by the person rolling them.
[03:20] Grant Reed: Exactly. It was the stay cables losing tension due to unforeseen salt-air crystallization.
[03:20] ron majors: If you expect to see a 100-million-year-old rock, the particles "settle" into that state.
[03:20] Thaddeus Orbit: I've been saying for years that modern bridge engineering ignores the P-Delta effect.
[03:21] j j: so like if I think my milk is sour, it tastes sour?
[03:21] Sterling Price: @Sinaid actually that's more about damping ratios.
[03:21] Thaddeus Orbit: You have these secondary moments caused by the vertical loads acting on the displaced structure.
[03:21] q bert: sort of j j. It's like "a watched pot never boils"
[03:21] Candace Kang: Exactly. If you keep looking at an atom it can't decay.
[03:21] j j: that doesn't make any sense, lol
[03:21] Sinaid O'Connor: i always thought it was earthquake-related but it's just resonant frequency, right?
[03:21] paco taco: so the dinos were glowing??
[03:21] paco taco: like neon lizards?
[03:21] Grant Reed: It's exactly what happened with the pedestrian bridge in Florida back in 2018.
[03:21] JP Bridgemore: @paco taco What? No.
[03:21] Moki L: Haha, radioactive dinosaurs.
[03:21] Sterling Price: If a building doesn't have enough tuned mass dampers, the oscillations just build up.
[03:21] JP Bridgemore: It's because of Kleiber's Law and the Square-Cube Law.
[03:22] Moki L: No, those things get hot because they're big and inefficient.
[03:22] Sinaid O'Connor: like how a wine glass breaks if you sing the right note.
[03:22] JP Bridgemore: As you get bigger, your volume (the "furnace") grows much faster than your skin (the "radiator").
[03:22] Moki L: If you have a creature that weighs 60 tonnes, it's basically a massive furnace.
[03:22] Linus P: Taipei 101 is child's play compared to the aerodynamics of the new Jeddah Tower.
[03:22] JP Bridgemore: You reach a point where you can't get the heat out fast enough through your skin.
[03:22] Candace Kang: You'd need a circulatory system under the pressure of a jet engine just to move the heat around.
[03:22] Sterling Price: The Tapiei has a 660-tonne steel ball hanging inside to counteract typhoons.
[03:22] Grant Reed: @Linus that's just fluid-structure interaction.
[03:22] j j: is that why Susan said it exceeds the biomass density?
[03:22] Linus P: When you get to those heights, you're dealing with vortex shedding.
[03:22] Candace Kang: Yep. They'd have to eat every green thing on Earth just to have the energy to stand up.
[03:22] Grant Reed: We use the same math for aerospace turbine blades.
[03:23] Sterling Price: It's a massive pendulum that creates a counter-force.
[03:23] Aris Thorne: That's a little exaggerating, Grant, but yes, dinosaurs as a whole would have required far more fuel than the earth could supply.
[03:23] Linus P: The wind creates low-pressure eddies that pull the building side-to-side.
[03:23] ron majors: Speaking of thermal loads...
[03:23] Grant Reed: If the blade frequency matches the rotation speed...
[03:23] ron majors: did anyone see the new data on Thorium-based molten salt reactors?
[03:23] Linus P: You have to change the shape of the floor plate as you go up to "confuse" the wind.
[03:23] Grant Reed: the whole engine disintegrates in mid-air.
[03:23] Candace Kang: @ron the neutron economy in those is incredible.
[03:23] Thaddeus Orbit: Grant, flutter is a nightmare in supersonic flight too.
[03:23] ron majors: It's a nuclear reactor that uses liquid salt instead of water...much safer.
[03:23] Grant Reed: It's called flutter.
[03:23] q bert: is that the stuff that doesn't melt down??
[03:23] Sinaid O'Connor: is that why my ears pop on a plane?
[03:23] Thaddeus Orbit: The Prandtl-Glauert singularity...
[03:24] ron majors: Exactly. It's under normal pressure so it can't explode like a balloon.
[03:24] Sinaid O'Connor: or is that just the Boyle's Law thing with the cabin pressure?
[03:24] q bert: my stepdad works at a power plant and he says they just use big fans.
[03:24] Thaddeus Orbit: the sudden drop in air pressure that creates that vapor cone when a jet breaks the sound barrier.
[03:24] Candace Kang: It's basically "recycling" nuclear waste into new fuel.
[03:24] Linus P: Sinaid, it's just the pressure differential across your eardrum.
[03:24] JP Bridgemore: @Candace The "target" for the neutrons to hit is much bigger in that setup.
[03:24] Thaddeus Orbit: As M approaches 1, the pressure coefficient goes to infinity.
[03:24] ron majors: But the corrosion in the piping is the real engineering hurdle.
[03:24] Linus P: As external pressure drops, the air in your middle ear expands.
[03:24] Sterling Price: Speaking of pressure...
[03:24] ron majors: You need specialized metal like Hastelloy-N to keep the salt from eating the pipes.
[03:25] q bert: is that like the non-stick coating on my frying pan?
[03:25] Moki L: No qbert lol ... that's Teflon ... it would turn into a puddle at 700 degrees Celsius.
[03:25] Grant Reed: @Sterling it's the piezolyte proteins.
[03:25] Sterling Price: did anyone read about the Mariana Trench expedition?
[03:25] Candace Kang: @Moki did you see how the metal changes under radiation though?
[03:25] Grant Reed: They stabilize the cell membranes against the crushing force.
[03:25] Moki L: We're talking about a super-alloy that stays strong when it's red hot.
[03:25] Sterling Price: They found a new species of xenophyophore at 10000 meters.
[03:25] Candace Kang: The atoms actually start moving around and making the metal brittle.
[03:25] Thaddeus Orbit: Actually, Grant, the hydrostatic equilibrium is more important here.
[03:25] JP Bridgemore: That's how you get tiny cracks that look like a spiderweb...Intergranular Stress Corrosion.
[03:25] Candace Kang: It's called Sensitization.
[03:25] Sterling Price: Single-celled organisms the size of a frisbee!
[03:25] Grant Reed: It's the same way deep-sea fish prevent their enzymes from flattening out.
[03:25] JP Bridgemore: I saw it in a steam generator last month........it looked like it was made of glass.
[03:25] Sterling Price: How they maintain cellular integrity at 1000 atmospheres is beyond me.
[03:26] Thaddeus Orbit: If the internal pressure matches the external, there's no net force.
[03:26] q bert: is that why the bridge in Genoa fell down??
[03:26] Sinaid O'Connor: so if i dive to the bottom of the ocean...
[03:26] Thaddeus Orbit: It's basic Pascal's Principle.
[03:26] Linus P: That was perfluorocarbon breathing, Sinaid.
[03:26] Candace Kang: No Sinaid, that was chloride-induced pitting. Basically salt aeting holes in the steel.
[03:26] Candace Kang: *eating
[03:26] Willa Sterling: wow she is so smart
[03:26] q bert: the "sensitization" of the cables?
[03:26] Thaddeus Orbit: Pressure applied to an enclosed fluid is transmitted undiminished to every part of the fluid.
[03:26] Sinaid O'Connor: i just have to breathe in enough water to match the pressure, lol
[03:26] Candace Kang: Different mechanism entirely.
[03:26] Linus P: Liquid ventilation.
[03:26] ron majors: going back to Susan's stochastic variables...
[03:26] Sinaid O'Connor: like that movie once with the rat in the pink liquid.
[03:26] Grant Reed: @Linus the surface tension is the real killer in those cases.
[03:26] ron majors: if the sun's particles (neutrinos) are changing the rocks then the Sun is the real clock.
[03:26] Linus P: They use it for premature infants sometimes to keep the lungs from collapsing.
[03:26] Grant Reed: You need surfactants to lower the work of breathing.
[03:26] JP Bridgemore: Which means the further you are from the Sun, the slower time "ticks" in the rocks.
[03:26] Liam O'Brien: GUYS.
[03:26] ron majors: We're basically living inside a giant light-sensor.
[03:27] Grant Reed: Without it, the alveoli just snap shut like wet plastic wrap.
[03:27] Sarah Miller: I've thought as much...if the dinosaurs were real they would have eaten all the trees in a week.
[03:27] Liam O'Brien: CAN WE GO BACK TO THE DINOSAURS??
[03:27] Liam O'Brien: She's saying they would have to eat the whole planet!!
[03:27] Thaddeus Orbit: Liam, be quiet. 😁
[03:27] q bert: maybe they ate the isomorphic silicates?
[03:27] q bert: or maybe they just lived on dark matter?
[03:27] Sinaid O'Connor: yeah liam quiet
[03:27] Candace Kang: @q dark matter is "ghost" matter, it goes right through you.
[03:27] ron majors: Unless they had a "ghost" digestive system to catch it, haha
[03:27] Thaddeus Orbit: Liam, Susan mentioned the laplace pressure, and we're discussing it in pulmonary surfactants.
[03:27] Sinaid O'Connor: lol
[03:27] Candace Kang: You can't eat it. It would pass right through your stomach without touching anything.
[03:27] Sinaid O'Connor: i want to know if i can breathe pink liquid and go to the trench. šŸ˜„
[03:28] Moki L: A 60-tonne "biological engine" would be like running ten furnaces at once.
[03:28] Candace Kang: like the Loch Ness??
[03:28] Sterling Price: You'd still have to worry about nitrogen narcosis, Sinaid.
[03:28] Toby Vance: Nessie is just a giant radiator! šŸ˜‚
[03:28] Candace Kang: Wait...
[03:28] q bert: omg haha
[03:28] Sinaid O'Conner: yikes
[03:28] Linus P: @Grant if we look at the henry's law constant for nitrogen
[03:28] ron majors: Sinaid, Nessie is just gas bubbles from rotting plants at the bottom of the lake.
[03:28] Mark Davis: This is SOOO interesting!
[03:28] Sterling Price: At high partial pressures, nitrogen starts acting like an anesthetic on your neurons.
[03:28] Joni Quest: the level of detail here is insane. My mind is actually blown right now 🤯
[03:28] Grant Reed: Which leads to the bends if you ascend too fast.
[03:28] q bert: she's just cooling her "bones" in the water so she doesn't explode.
[03:28] Willa Sterling: 🤣🤣🤣
[03:28] Grant Reed: The gas comes out of solution and forms bubbles in your joints.
[03:28] Kelsin Landers: Actually, Susan is right about the skin being the problem.
[03:29] Linus P: The solubility in blood increases linearly with depth
[03:29] Kelsin Landers: There's a law for this - Stefan-Boltzmann Law - about how much heat a surface can let out.
[03:29] Grant Reed: It's exactly like opening a warm bottle of soda.
[03:29] Joni Quest: wow...
[03:29] Adam McDermott: GLOWING RED HOT DINOS?! 🤯
[03:29] Joni Quest: i'm confused...the ocean is basically just a giant soda machine?
[03:29] Kelsin Landers: To get rid of that much heat, they would have to be glowing red hot just to survive.
[03:29] Josh Harmon: Susan is really opening the floodgates here, literally. šŸ˜„
[03:29] Chloe Reed: lol josh
[03:29] Adam McDermott: lol I'm never going swimming again.
[03:29] Aris Thorne: It's fascinating!
[03:29] Thaddeus Orbit: Aris, the atmosphere is irrelevant if we don't first solve the Van der Waals forces.
[03:30] Aris Thorne: But relating the nitrogen narcosis back to the post-diluvian atmosphere
[03:30] Thaddeus Orbit: in the upper ionosphere specifically...
[03:30] Willa Sterling: 🤣🤣🤣
[03:30] Aris Thorne: Actually, if you look at the spectroscopic analysis of the mesosphere...
[03:30] Liam O'Brien: MOLECULAR HOMOGENIZATION.
[03:30] Aris Thorne: the hydroxyl radical concentration is much higher than we predicted.
[03:30] Liam O'Brien: Susan is literally erasing every "mummy" in every museum in the world right now!!
[03:30] Aris Thorne: It's scrubbing the methane faster than the climate models account for.
[03:30] Grant Reed: Yes, I'm aware.
[03:30] Grant Reed: @Sterling she's right about the 15 megapascals.
[03:31] Grant Reed: 2175 psi is the same pressure you'd find at the bottom of a 1500-meter ocean trench.
[03:31] Sterling Price: Exactly Grant, imagine trying to preserve the texture of a grape under a steamroller.
[03:31] Sterling Price: The Principle of Effective Stress is a civil engineering 101 concept.
[03:31] Sterling Price: Total stress minus pore water pressure...if that rock is heavy, the "skin" becomes a pancake.
[03:31] Thaddeus Orbit: It's the Load Casts that really finish the argument.
[03:32] Thaddeus Orbit: I saw a load cast in a construction site in Dubai that looked exactly like a giant thumbprint.
[03:32] Sinaid O'Connor: so the "mummies" are just mud-squish patterns??
[03:32] Sinaid O'Connor: that explains why they always look like old leather bags.
[03:32] Grant Reed: @Sinaid it's just sedimentary soft-sediment deformation.
[03:32] Grant Reed: I read more about Piezoelectric materials.
[03:32] Grant Reed: They generate an electric charge when you apply mechanical stress to them.
[03:32] Thaddeus Orbit: @Grant like quartz crystals in a lighter?
[03:33] Grant Reed: Exactly, but now they're doing it with synthetic polymers for smart-clothing.
[03:33] Grant Reed: You could literally charge your phone just by walking.
[03:33] Linus P: @Grant the energy density on those is still too low for a full charge.
[03:33] Linus P: You'd have to run a marathon just to get 1% battery.
[03:33] Linus P: You're better off with Triboelectric nanogenerators.
[03:34] Sterling Price: @Linus triboelectricity is just static shock, right?
[03:34] Linus P: Basically, it's the Maxwell's displacement current at the interface of two materials...
[03:34] Linus P: the Ichthyosaur eye is a "Geometric Optics impossibility."
[03:34] Thaddeus Orbit: Snell's Law always wins.
[03:34] Thaddeus Orbit: If the water pressure changes the index of refraction, the focal point moves.
[03:35] Sinaid O'Connor: so the dinosaur was looking at things that were 3 meters behind its own head?? huh!?
[03:35] Grant Reed: @Sinaid she's saying the light wouldn't even hit the retina.
[03:35] Grant Reed: It's like trying to use a magnifying glass under chocolate syrup.
[03:35] Sinaid O'Connor: OH! lol
[03:35] Thaddeus Orbit: It reminds me of the Abbe sine condition in lens design.
[03:35] Thaddeus Orbit: To have a sharp image, the lens has to be perfectly shaped for the medium it's in.
[03:35] Thaddeus Orbit: You can't just "scale up" a goldfish eye to the size of a hand.
[03:36] Sterling Price: @Thaddeus it would just be a Siderite concretion.
[03:36] Sterling Price: I find those in my backyard all the time...perfect iron-ore spheres.
[03:36] Sterling Price: People find them and think they're "cannonballs" or "eggs."
[03:36] Linus P: @Sterling Authigenic mineralization is basically just the rock "growing" from the inside out.
[03:36] Linus P: @Grant you read Sterling's company's report on Deep Eutectic Solvents, right?
[03:37] Linus P: They can dissolve metal oxides but they're totally biodegradable.
[03:37] Grant Reed: @Linus are those the ones with the massive depression of freezing point?
[03:37] Linus P: Exactly. You mix two solids like choline chloride and urea, and they turn into a liquid at room temp.
[03:37] Linus P: It's a green chemistry miracle for battery recycling.
[03:37] Sinaid O'Connor: can you drink it? 😁
[03:37] Linus P: Definitely not, Sinaid. 🤣
[03:38] Grant Reed: @Linus the viscosity on those is the real problem though.
[03:38] Grant Reed: They're thick like honey. You have to heat them up just to get them to flow.
[03:38] Thaddeus Orbit: Like the Pitch Drop Experiment at the University of Queensland!
[03:38] Thaddeus Orbit: It's been dripping since 1927. It's only dropped nine times.
[03:38] Sinaid O'Connor: i don't have enough games on my phone to keep me from getting bored waiting for that 😁
[03:39] Liam O'Brien: SHE JUST SAID THE DINOS WOULD EXPLODE FROM OXYGEN.
[03:39] Adam McDermott: SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION LIZARDS?! 🤯
[03:39] Grant Reed: @Adam it's Fick's Law of Diffusion.
[03:39] Grant Reed: High oxygen = high flux into the cells.
[03:39] Sterling Price: Lipid Peroxidation, the oxygen literally starts "rusting" your cell fats.
[03:39] Sterling Price: It's why we take antioxidants like Vitamin C.
[03:39] Linus P: But for a Titanosaur, you'd need a Vitamin C pill the size of a boulder.
[03:40] Thaddeus Orbit: The Argon-40 to Nitrogen-14 ratio hasn't changed.
[03:40] Grant Reed: That's the "death blow" to the high-pressure theory.
[03:40] Grant Reed: If the air was denser back then, the partial pressure of noble gases would be all over the place.
[03:40] Sinaid O'Connor: i love the word "Barometric."
[03:40] Sinaid O'Connor: sounds like something a pirate uses to predict a storm.
[03:41] Aris Thorne: bARRRRRRometic.
[03:41] Sinaid O'Connor: šŸ“ā€ā˜ ļøšŸ¦œ
[03:41] Sterling Price: If the air was thin, the Vascular Collapse is inevitable.
[03:41] Sterling Price: The heart would have to pump at 500 psi just to get blood to the head.
[03:41] Grant Reed: The veins in the feet would burst instantly...
[03:41] Grant Reed: if you're 40 feet tall, the pressure in your toes is lethal.
[03:42] Toby Vance: I guess they had a "burning" desire to be extinct! šŸ˜‚
[03:42] Willa Sterling: 🤣🤣🤣
[03:42] Nova Holbrook: Okay, feel free to post your questions in the chat room now. We'll answer them in the Q&A after Susan wraps up.
[03:42] Liam O'Brien: QUESTIONS??
[03:42] Liam O'Brien: I have like fifty questions
[03:42] Grant Reed: @Nova I want to know if Susan has looked at the Arrhenius equation...
[03:42] q bert: professor Zhang just destroyed the entire Smithsonian in 30 minutes
[03:43] Grant Reed: regarding the rate of "fossilization" in high-salinity environments.
[03:43] Thaddeus Orbit: It's the only way to explain how you get "bone" before the scavengers get to it.
[03:43] JP Bridgemore: If the temperature was higher during the event, the chemical "hardening" could happen in days.
[03:43] Sinaid O'Connor: are museums basically just high-end fake-tan shops??
[03:43] Sinaid O'Connor: like they just painted some rocks and called them "stego-somethings"?
[03:44] Sterling Price: @Sinaid it's not "fakes" in the sense of a prank...
[03:44] Sterling Price: it's a Paradigm Blindness.
[03:44] Sterling Price: They see a shape, their brain fills in the biology, and the "science" follows the bias.
[03:44] Linus P: Exactly. It's a circular reference error, so to speak.
[03:44] ron majors: Speaking of errors @Nova...
[03:45] ron majors: has Susan considered the Navier-Stokes equations for the fluid dynamics of a "global" event?
[03:45] j j: my brain hurts but in a good way lol.
[03:45] Linus P: The turbulence would be so high you wouldn't get neat "layers."
[03:45] Nova Holbrook: Good question! I'll ask her.
[03:45] Grant Reed: Unless the sediment was acting as a Bingham Plastic.
[03:45] Linus P: We discussed this earlier, Grant. The yield stress would have to be perfect.
[03:45] Thaddeus Orbit: It's possible if the mineral content was high enough.
[03:46] paco taco: can we talk about the glowing red hot dinos again? šŸ˜€
[03:46] Toby Vance: "Dinosaurs: They were LIT!" šŸ˜‚
[03:46] Willa Sterling: 🤣🤣🤣
[03:46] q bert: @Nova are these slides going to be available for download?
[03:46] Nova Holbrook: Yes, we'll make sure they're available after the conference.